The moment that I was informed that we had become a COVID-19 department, I was devastated. This coronavirus is so frightening, and I knew that I could die from it. I am a person who needs to be in control, and I had lost control, I was so frightened. This entire new situation was scary—a situation of life or death. Moreover, I was in it. At the level of the team, we did not know what to expect, personally and collectively, as a department. I did not know what was expected from me as a social worker and what were the guidelines; everything was new. We created everything from the beginning, and I was scared.
Emma, a social worker in the hospital’s Corona Department
“In our country, we know what a war is, and in the healthcare system we know how to function in the hospital during times of war, but still, this is a new war, a war that we have never handled, an invisible enemy, and it is frightening all of us.” In similar vein, Doron said: “to be significant, to be at the front is important. Before it was the army that was at the front, now it is the turn of the healthcare system to be at the front.” Sara, nurse
“In the Internal Medicine Department, I have been working for the past 18 years with my team, physicians, nurses, secretary—we have a common language. I felt especially secure in those days. How I will be able to use, in an efficient way, a new situation and new staff? This is ridiculous.” Dikla a nurse
“This will increase the feeling of insecurity…think that the entire situation is new and scary; so, what will I do without my friends who I have been working with for years?” In particular, the need to be protected during shifts was pronounced. As Sara told us: “In order to continue to come here, I need to feel that someone is taking care of me. I do not care who in charge of that in the hospital, but I need to feel safe; it is essential for me.” Tania, a social worker
“I cannot believe it… because of the workload… it is only because of the workload… I have to tell you that I haven’t eaten for whole days…I grab something. It is not that there isn’t any food, but we don’t have the time and the needs of the staff draw you and you can’t ignore them; you need to respond to each one. At other times its different, of course. Here you can’t say anything to them. It’s the mask; it creates wounds on their noses, so I brought them cream. This kind of mask or any other; so, I saw masks in the grocery store and I bought them pink surgical masks so they would feel joy. Every day I am bringing something to make them happy. All the time. Yes, the protective equipment is a problematic issue by itself… I understand since I am involved in that; it depends on the equipment that comes to Israel, but it is not always suitable… this equipment is insane.” -Julie, a nurse in the ICU
Julie’s “I Poem” I cannot believe I have to tell I haven’t eaten I grab something [to eat] I brought them cream I saw face masks I bought them masks I am taking out [something to make them happy] I understand I am involved
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“I love my job, and I love the feeling of contributing. People around me, outside the hospital, talk about us [the HCWs]. I am in the frontline. It is pleasant and heartwarming.” -Michal, a nurse
Michal’s “I Poem”
I love [my job]
I love [the feeling of contributing]
I am [in the frontline]
“I believe this will continue …. I discovered the richness of family and personal life, which reinforced things that I knew about myself and my [hospital] family—we are sturdy and dedicated and we cope well. I am filled with appreciation for the Infection Management Department that created a safe environment.” --Dina, nurse
Dina’s “I Poem” I believe I discovered I knew [about myself] I am filled [with appreciation]
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Themes: Trauma and Stress
A deceased is a deceased but the separation from the family is extremely difficult, the wrapping process is a different from what you normally do in the internal ward. In addition to the regular wrap we put them in a nylon wrap and that is horrifying. A really unpleasant sight. It is like you put your patients in a plastic bag and you close it with a zipper. And then you cover with another bag but from the opposite side. An unpleasant wrapping of a patient since it is supposed to be isolated.--Golda, nurse
Look, the coronavirus is something completely new. A whole new disease that we do not have a clue how to treat, how to behave with it … and the craziest thing [is] that no-one in the world has the knowledge how to treat this disease, no knowledge-based expertise, no medical literature. So, you are constantly calling your colleagues in the country and around the world. Then, you are planning how you will cope with your first coronavirus patient. And then you are planning your second patient and the third. The decisions [as the head of the ICU] are just on your shoulders. They said to me: you are crazy … you are crazy; what are you doing? But I had to listen to myself, my instincts, and I said I have to go with my feelings and intuition. The decision is all yours. And what is most crazy is that you do not know what will happen next. Now it [the patient’s condition] is fine and five minutes later the patient can die and there is no-one to consult with because no-one knows [anything] about COVID-19.--ICU Physician Marina
Themes: Security and Knowledge
At the beginning of the corona outbreak, there was a lack of food, protective gear, and clothes and shielding eyeglasses to protect ourselves. We had to shower between the shifts, and there was a shortage of showers in the hospital, and we had to fight for the basic needs to be protected, especially during the weekends. It was horrible. Everyone was terrified. There was a lack of food in the Corona Department. At the beginning, I did not have what to eat during the day. I felt broken and choked …. There were shifts that I did not eat for almost 12 h.--Orr, nurse
I did not have a life except the work at the hospital these past few weeks. I did not have a private life at all. I did not meet my family. I am tired all the time, I just want to sleep like a human being, to eat, to be away from the hospital and from the Corona that is all over; these 12-h shifts killed me. I am a single mother and I have a daughter. My daughter was all by herself at our house. It is unbearable; she was all by herself for all those days of the corona, and I was here taking care of other people.--Sara, nurse
There was constant anxiety and fear that we would infect others; we [at the Corona Department] felt like lepers … and then the isolation from my family since I was so afraid that I would infect them. I was isolated like a leper. My children could not go out to play with other children because I was terrified that I would infect my children and that they would infect their friends with coronavirus. At the beginning of the coronavirus, my daughter was so stressed out from this crazy situation.--Dorit, nurse
“The Head of the Department is constantly updating us … I do not feel detached … I feel secure, knowing where I stand.” --Dan
“ … a lack of communication and information about what is happening at the hospital at the general level and not at the sector level bothers me. I am worried.” Avi, administrator
“Uncertainty concerns me—assessments of the situation and updates by my immediate supervisor would help me.” “I feel like I’m in the dark and don’t know what’s going on.”--Ruth
Theme: Need for Belonging
We were all a big family helping each other. I felt so close to all my peers; working together in such a tough time was different from what I had known in the last 26 years that I have been working in the hospital. As a team, we have become closer to each other, and I have discovered additional angels in my team …. In our department there is a sense of “togetherness” and comradery. Professionally, there will be changes; there are thoughts about modifying procedures in light of the current pandemic …. Relating to each other, currently feeling that we are a united and cohesive group.---Vicki, administrator